Why I chose aesthetic flat closure (AFC)

My last days with breasts. They might have been small but they were mine !

Bye bye boobies ! I said goodbye to both my breasts in February 2022.

After hearing the news that I had breast cancer, the decision to go flat and not have reconstruction was an easy one - for me. I knew from the day that I got diagnosed that was my choice. I wanted my left breast removed asap. It was cancerous. It was trying to kill me. I couldn’t wait to chop it off. I also felt strongly that I didn’t want to be asymmetrical. I couldn’t imagine only having one boob. To me, that seemed weirder and harder to get my head around than having no breasts at all.

It may seem like an extreme decision but right from the outset, I wanted to do everything I could to prevent cancer coming back. I went into fierce mama bear mode; my immediate priority was - and still is - to see my babies grow up. I would do everything to make sure that happened.

My breasts have always been small. I’m slim and athletic and honestly, I’ve never really loved them. Or even had much of a relationship with them. I’ve never been one to show off my cleavage. I’ve never even had a cleavage. I’ve lived most of my adult life in a sports bra.

After feeding twins, gaining weight and then losing it after pregnancy, my breasts had become sad, saggy little sacks. I always thought my nipples were funny looking and I didn’t like that they pointed outwards. And I quite enjoyed the idea of not having to worry about sports bras or nipple chafe when I was running long distances. Looking back through photos of me in sports kit or a bikini, I looked so flat anyway, I figured it wouldn’t make much difference.

I knew my own mind but trying to get what I wanted approved medically was a major challenge. At an already super stressful time. The first surgeon I saw point blank refused to remove my healthy breast. He said it would be considered ‘mutilation’ and wanted to refer me for psychiatry. I left his office in floods of tears, feeling completely helpless and un-heard. Luckily, my GP was able to refer me to a friend of hers; a female surgeon. She was an angel!

I prepared a 1-page document with my reasons why and photos of what I wanted to look like, just in case I broke down in tears and couldn’t explain myself. I went into that appointment feeling like my life depended on it. The surgeon was amazing and I will forever be grateful for her compassion. She listened. She understood. And she immediately agreed to do the surgery I wanted. I feel very lucky - and proud - that I had the courage to advocate for myself. I know that not everyone has that opportunity or that confidence.

On Feb 8th 2022, cancer was cut out of my body and both my breasts were amputated. My chest was left completely flat, with no nipples and two big scars. I have zero regrets.